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The Ninth of May in the Year of Our Lord, FIfteen Nineteen - Morning
Greetings and well met my dearest diary. I confess that sadly there be not much excitement in my life at the present. I do have but only a smattering of mere trifles of protest and complaint. It be my belief that my own dear sister Anne be on a mission to ruin my life or to at least drive me to a state of desperate frustration. For the first few humble years of our lives, my brother Georges and I were inseparable as it were only the two of us. Introduce our younger sister Nan into the fray and within a few years, the sweet and carefree relationship that George and I shared seemed to disappear on the wind like wisps of smoke from the hearth. How poetic of me. As with many sibling relationships with multiple children, it hath seemed to me that Anne and Georges did make it their mission in life to taunt and torment me to the point of despair. I realize that this be normal sibling rivalry, but I do fear in this case that it hath produced long lasting results. Be not mistaken, I do love both my brother and sister dearly, however, the damage were done many a year hence and it be irreparable at this point save for the instance of divine intervention for which I pray religiously (there be no pun intended in the aforementioned sentence). To relay to thee the story; Georges and I were but two years apart in age. I have but the fondest memories of helping Mama and Nurse feed and bathe his tiny body. When he were old enough to walk, I would lead him by the hand through the manor taking the greatest care to point out to him the treasures that adorned our home such as portraits of family members and ancestors. With the birth of our younger sister Nan a few years later, Georges and I felt it our sibling duty to bestow upon her the same care and education that I didst bestow upon Georges. Alas, however, as Nan did grow older, she and Georges didst grow increasingly closer and I became but an outsider and observer to their relationship. As children, they didst taunt me and tease me to the point of tears with little scolding from Mama and Papa. They didst attribute this to normal childlike behaviour and did but laugh at the charming antics of their children. This didst have a profound affect on my relationships with all members of my family as I didst feel that I nay received the warmth from Mama and Papa that I craved. I perceive that my upbringing was one of greater expectation and stricter upbringing. I were expected to be a role model for the youngsters and did often incur the gentle but hurtful wrath of Mama and Papa were I not living up to their expectations. Papa now feels that I be old enough to be used as a "pawn", to borrow a phrase from that marvelous game of chess, to win favor with the royal household. And in this regard, the jealousy Nan possesseth hath grown like a common garden weed. No matter what I attempt to say to her, she doth view me with distain. I do feel sorrow at this development in our relationship. Georges seemeth to have taken up sides with her and doth advise her to use her position in the royal household to the utmost advantage as well. We do our best to maintain a facade of good behaviour at court, but away from Her Majesty we cannot seem to be civil. She lets her tongue wag loose with rumors of my poor reputation and my willingness to jump into the bed of any man! I do wish father would intervene. Her Majesty hath told me that she hath heard these rumors as well but has consoled me that she beleiveth them to be untrue. She doth nay, however, think very highly of Anne. Her Majesty is wise! Dearest friend, I hath written much this morning and my hand do be tired. Until we meet again, Adieu! Marie |
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