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7th of April in the Year of Our Lord, 1520 - Early Morning
Praise be to God for all be right with the world and I do so love my life! Word hath reached my dear Sir William of my most humble
apologies for mine unwarranted behavior and he hath accepted gladly and with open heart. He didst promptly respond thusly:
"Ma chere Marie,
Never didst I take our mutual slanders to heart, nor didst I think that thou wert of any nature other than the sporting wit that thou and I dost share in the oft merry wars betwixt us. Thou knowest that I do love thee, and that thou and I art of souls that be forever linked by a common adoration for exercises of the tongue, and though I do mean this in the fashion of jibes, I am sure that thou art at this instant instructing some nineteen year old pup in the art of the peach. This said, my love for thee never faltered during this last exchange of sporting slurs, and I am sorry to the core of my blackened heart if thou wert in any sense offended and hurt, for I didst think thy resolve to be steely, and didst assume that with every taunt of mine that thou wouldst bend like a reed in the wind in much the same fashion that thou didst account to me of how thou didst bend for King Henry three weeks since. But know, dearest Marie, that our friendship and love are still unbroken.
Speaking of sport, I do have a saucy proposition for thee. I am at this instant embarked upon a journey for Italy whereupon I will engage in a diversion that entails both revenge and pleasure. Mark this: recently in the shire of New Market, Allesandro diMedici and I didst share an exchange of unpleasantries over the matter of amorous letters that I didst pluck from his pocket. These letters, suffice it to say, were not addressed to his wife Valencia, but rather to a legendary beauty named Catherine. I didst attempt to decry Allesandro for this, and didst in the process also try to coerce a plentiful sum of lira from his
coin purse in exchange for the letters, but he didst mock this commerce with treachery and deceit. I would normally find these qualities admirable in a fellow King's Man, but to this end he didst mean to damage mine own reputation before a goodly many gentles that didst begin to assemble around us. He didst make detractions to the effect that I wert a possessor of proclivities for the purpose that I had, upon my person, a garter, a receipt for said garter, and a poem in honor of the garter, these items of which he didst pick from mine own pockets. To his favour in this argument, the garter did have written upon its inside, Property of William Paget. However, unbeknownst to him, this garter were a gift for Bessie Seymour that I didst mean to give to her that very eve. Under normal conditions, I wouldst have revealed this bit of intelligence to him and the throng around us were it not for the fact that I were to be shortly married to the lovely Duchess of Farringdon, and the scandal of this would have destroyed my chances of gaining her love in matrimony, as well as her several titles, estates and riches thereupon. Therefore I let Allesandro maintain his own deception that the garter were mine and I let him win the argument, as I did give him back the letters as he didst return the items of said proclivity to me (and are now in the possession of the lovely Bessie).
However, Allesandro shall not be so lucky as to have this slight against me go unrewarded, hence my sojourn to Italy. I am presently to Italy for the purpose of making the amours of his wife, Valencia, whereupon I will begin an exchange of letters betwixt her and I concerning our own amours. I shall wreak scandal within Allesandro's own household and deliver to him the letters that she had writ me. How mayest I convince Valencia to engage in such actions with me? Simple. The letters that I didst return to Allesandro were not the originals that he hadst writ to the lovely Catherine, but were, in fact, most excellent forgeries writ by the hand of mine own clerk. The true letters of Allesandro's own hand will I show to Valencia, in conjunction with my being a most "concerned and sympathetic soul" that will shortly thereafter be bowed towards the end of more
pleasurable forms of consolation.
However, I believe that this game can be furthered, and this be where I need thy aid, dearest Marie. Thou couldst use thy feminine wiles to seduce Allesandro and exchange with him letters regarding thy encounters together. In this fashion, the scandal wouldst be complete on both ends and Allesandro wouldst be destroyed, for it is Valencia who doth control his coinpurse. Dost not thy soul leap at the thought of this game? Nous pouvons
etre les liasons dangereuses, mon amie. Dit oui a' moi, ma chere, s'il te plait. Ce sera plus excellent un
joue.
A plus tard, ma cherie,
Duke William Paget"
I must fully admit that this weaving of intrigue hath piqued my curiosity to no end. Allesandro de Medici! The man be a god in human form. He be the very essence of the legendary Samson with his beauty, his gorgeous locks hanging to his nether regions and his piety. He be perfection. I canst help but snicker however, for I hath heard that his wife be not so deserving of his goodly ways, that she once let lose the vinegar of a woman and has not been able to close the tap. I feel a sort of sorrow for the man. Mine appetite for adventure be aflame in my soul and I shall take part in this! My dear sweet Sir William hath a devious streak in him that can stir up even the most goodly of peasants to shun their values and leap at the prospect of uproarious adventure. I must give him an answer post haste for he shall be returning from Italy presently and to have a letter greet him upon his return should not doubt make his journey worth all while.
I must away dear diary to compose my reply to mon ami, but shall return later, as I am wont to do, with news of other happenings.
Until then, adieu!
Mary B.
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