Lady Mary Boleyn
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The 9th of January in the Year of Our Lord 1521 - Late afternoon

My Dearest Diary who holdeth no grudges nor pretense, 

Were that thou a real person thou shouldst hateth me with all thy being for neglecting thee for so long. However, once we return from progress there be much to attend to, yea, we have been quite occupied with our dealings and business. Wonderful news for the Howard family be in order. 

Uncle Norfolk hath recently acquired the village of New Market where we progress each autumn. From my understanding, he and Augustus Montbatten, the Earl of New Market were dining one evening with Their Majesties with a fair number of the court also in attendance. Her Majesty, Queen Catharine were in the midst of one of her famous sneezing cluster fits whereupon she will sneeze off and on throughout the course of an evening in clusters of 3 to 15 sneezes. Well, nigh upon the time her third cluster came upon her, and after they had been in their cups a bit, Augie and Uncle Norfolk decided upon a friendly wager. Well, wagering in itself is not unusual as we English are famous for wagering on everything, but this wager seemed to have a special aspect to it. Augie wagered New Market that Her Majesty would sneeze an even number of times and Uncle wagered one of his country manors that she wouldst sneeze and odd number or times. Well, lucky sevens were in the cards so to speak for Uncle that eve. However, as the wager were of a mundane manner, and made in a state of advanced inebriation, neither gentleman had any intention of following through with the settling of the debt. However, His Majesty were not amused that courtiers wouldst engage in such frivolities at the expense of his wife. He saw to it that the wagered debt were honored in order to set an example to the rest of the court that this sort of wagering were not to be tolerated and that dice, cards, jousts, sports and other games of chance were where these indulgences were to be carried out. Uncle Norfolk hath therefore charged us, the Howards, with the organization of a Kingly Tournament of Jousting to celebrate his newest acquisition and Their Majesties shall be the guests of honor.

We have each been given a specific task. I have been named the head of the Welcoming and Hospitality Committee, a duty I take very seriously and shall imbue with all of my spirit and skills. My dear little sister Nan hath proclaimed herself Homecoming Queen and shall provide a focal point for ridicule no doubt. George hath been named Wave Performance Artiste and Coordinator, Mother be the Talent and Entertainment Coordinator, Uncle of course be the Executive Producer and King’s Chief Bookmaker, and our dear little cousin Katherine who so very much wished to be involved hath been charged with the very important task and title of Sr. Seating Arrangement Coordinating Technical Engineering Specialist - or to put it more precisely, “Usher”. 

We are dearly hoping that Hs Grace, Henry Percy, Duke of Northumberland shall join us along with that dashing poet Sir Thomas Wyatt and of course Father who be an expert in Public Relations, especially with the French.

The Knights are being contacted and negotiated with and the winners shall move on to the sport spectacular to be held next year with the French, The Field of the Cloth of Gold. I do so hope that my favorite wins. I shall let thee know who ‘tis as soon as I figure it out for myself who ‘tis. 

Oh I be duly excited about this autumn’s progress, more so that that of last which were dismal and miserable due to the most inclimate weather. It rained on us the entire time and the mud were unbearable. My poor new dress were soaked and being as it were red, didst run onto my crisp white chemise and stain it crimson right where my bottom sat on it. Nan of course had a hey day teasing me for it. Said I couldst nay keep a cork in place to save my miserable little life. But being the elder more mature sister, I didst nay take heed of her petty little barbs. Suffice it to say I am sure that her demeanor had every little bit to do with the weather last fall.

Well dearest, I shall bit thee anon as the hour doth grow late. I do have much more to rely to thee and shall do so tout suite!

Amore et amore!


Days of Yore - Anon

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